real wise when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I
die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my
money to the afterlife with me." His wife promised him with all of her heart, that when
he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket and his wife was sitting there in black
and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before
the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She
had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the
undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there
with your husband." The loyal wife replied,"Listen, I'm a Christian; I can't go back on
my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him?!" exclaimed the
woman's friend. "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account
and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."
you need to shut up. 2.)
hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your
turn to help do things around the house. 3.)
begin with nothing usually end in
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of
means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay
for your mistake. 7.)
it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's
response, refer to #3. Send this to the men you know to warn them about arguments
they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet
coke.
Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and
put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.
Only in America ......do we use the word `politics' to describe the process so well:
`Poli' in Latin meaning `many' and `tics' meaning ` bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.